Wow.
That was just perfect!
I could never be that calm and composed.

Can we use it for the front page, please? All acknowlegements in the proper place, of course

Thank you so much for the link to the site. Very grateful x

Hi
just to let you know the video catalogue is growing.
http://www.youtube.com/user/bluemillicent is the link to my channel.
As always will look to you for review, if you think anything is not up to scratch please let me know.
neville

Hi Neville, I found your clips on YouTube before I found this forum, and sat glued to each one, especially #3 which I watched three times over.  I was just stunned; you are describing my child, not exactly, but about 90%.  The things that do not match are due to other difficulties he has, so if you don't count those, then it was him to a tee!  He is also ten by the way.

How on earth did you aquire this level of knowledge and understanding of PDA?  I had never heard of it until a few days ago.  My son does have an ASD diagnosis, however.

There is really very little info on the web ,and entirely zero if you search New Zealand sites(where I am).  Has PDA even been offically "accepted" by doctors as a diagnosis, and are there diagnostic criteria for it?

While your info gave me new found empathy with his level of anxiety (I had always suspected this was the case) I still felt like blowing my top when trying to get out the door this morning.  Some habits die hard I guess.

I have had several doctors actually send me on parenting courses, and tell me to my face I am not in control of my son (despite the fact I too have another child, who is typical in every way (and knows how to behave).  I have read numerous parentling books, researched, done all those courses...   to no avail.  Even my closest friends cannot truly comprehend what we go through, much less the casual bystander!

On one memorable occasion a pshychologist told me "of course behavioural approaches will work if you stick to it.  Animals are trained in that way and I'm sure your son is more intellegent than an animal".  I could never understand why rewards, bribes, punishments, the carrot and stick approach just did not work.  Not even chocolate or sweets work - he doesn't even care for them! 

We have just absolutely been through the mill - as I'm sure you have.  Thank you SO much for posting this information.  I am very grateful.  Now what I want to know is how to manage my own response to his infuriating habits.  I am an ordinary, sane, positive and upbeat person, but honsestly some days I am at my limit.

I look forward to discussing further, and hope some other parents will materialise

Yes, it certainly is a balancing act - and so exhausting always trying to think ahead and be one step ahead of any situation or probelm that may arise, so that one might intercept or deflect it!

I hope some of the many people who have viewed this site will come out of the woodwork and join in a discussion.

Thanks again, Neville.

I am a new foster carer and my first young person has very challenging behaviours which have until now gone undiagnosed or addressed in any way although he is almost 18.  He is a cross-dresser and cannot deal with any subject relating to real life or responsibility and deflects all attempts of discussion on such matters using various types of diversion including changing the subject, ingoring everyone, tantrums, deal-making and talking over everyone.  He acts like and believes himself to be a celebrity.  He constantly seeks attention of any sort without regard or awareness of risks.  He is very intelligent though has been unable to complete many formal qualifications and school reports all attest to disruptive and attention-seeking behaviours rather than ability.   He constantly throws tantrums to get his own way. He has been displaying these traits since he was approximately 6 although in his teens there has been escalation particularly relating to his gender identity.  He appears to live in a theatrical and fantasy world which in the past 3-4 years has developed into dressing in female clothing and assuming female personas.   Physically all is well with the exception of his hearing as he constantly complains he cannot hear tv, phones etc.
Luckily for me my sister is an autism practictioner with several years experience under her belt.  After a few social meetings with this young man and closely observing his behaviours she felt he was displaying traits she'd covered in some of her training and brought your website to my attention.   It's like a light going on.
This young man is due to be assessed by his new GP this week and has an appointment later this week for a psychiatric evaluation.  I will present the information contained within your site to my GP with a hope for a referal to an autism specialist. My GP is very forward thinking so hopefully this need may be met. 
I will update accordingly.
H